That Wrestling Show

Hello ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the absence, holidays were super busy for me. We’re gonna start this new year off hot and furious. Welcome to my Hard to Kill 2022 review. We got a helluva card ready to go, so without further ado…lets do the damn thing.

-We open with a massive bang, and historical first, as our opening contest is the first ever Knockouts Ultimate X match to determine the next #1 Contender to the Knockouts Championship! We have Chelsea Green vs Jordynne Grace vs Tasha Steelz vs. Lady Frost vs. Rosemary vs the newly added Alisha Edwards!!! Grace and Steelz immediately started the match by climbing the structure. Steelz chose to dive off and took out Green, while Frost and Lish took out each other. Grace was stopped, and then dropped Tasha. Savannah Evans came out and made her presence felt by taking out Grace. Havok then came out to assist Rosemary, taking out Evans and Steelz before putting Rosemary on her shoulders to try to pull the X down. Green dropped Havok which dropped them both. Alisha and Green both climbed the turnbuckles and dove to the outside, taking out everyone. Lady Frost then followed suit, then her and Grace fought up the structure. Grace tried to cross the cables, but Steelz eventually stopped her, causing Grace to land on her. Alisha decided to get a little more extreme and introduced everyone in the match to Kendra the Kendo Stick, then climbed the structure. Rosemary met her on the cables and speared her off. Steelz and Grace climbed again. Grace caught Steelz halfway across the cables and took her off with a disgusting Spinebuster. Lady Frost climbed the structure, but for some inexplicable reason she decided to hit a ridiculous Temperature Drop to the outside off the structure. Tasha and Grace met on the cables again and Tasha dropped her, then her and Green battled over the X until Tasha snatched it and fell to the mat just as Green unhooked it! Tasha Steelz wins the first ever Knockouts Ultimate X match and now has a Knockouts Championship Match!!! 8.5/10, great match and great way to start the show!

We keep right on rolling to the next match, which is the X-Division Championship Match. Trey Miguel defends against Steve Maclin. Maclin hit the SCUD on Trey as he was still making his entrance, before the bell even rang. Miguel fought back and hit a dropkick, then ran into the ring, turned around, and hit a nasty stall DDT to the outside on Maclin! The bell finally rang and Maclin immediately caught Trey in the corner and tried to hit Crosshairs but Trey dodged then dived THROUGH him and wound up in the crowd. Maclin responded with a vicious beatdown on the outside, attacking his ribs and back mercilessly. He continued the beatdown in the ring. Maclin went full power game, throwing and slamming Trey all over the place, focusing on his back and neck. He took him back outside and did even more damage. He repeatedly shut Trey down with nasty power moves, keeping Trey grounded. Trey finally managed to counter with his speed and agility. He got moving, and got creative, putting Maclin on his heels, but Maclin countered him and hit a ridiculous Crosshairs through the ropes when Trey got hung up. He got him back in the ring and tried to hit Mayhem for All, but Trey countered with a Ranadriver. Maclin then dodged the Meteora attempt. They fought on the apron, before Trey hit a disgusting Meteora off the apron to the floor! He got him back in the ring and hit another Meteora, but somehow Maclin kicked out. Trey got pissed and hit a Dangerous Buster, then hit a third Meteora, and finally got the pin! Trey beat Maclin! Trey retains! 8.5/10, excellent match, and as a result Maclin cannot ever challenge for the X-Division Championship again as long as Trey remains champ.

Due to some issue with the Covid protocols, The IInspiration will not be able to make the show tonight, so the Knockouts Tag Team Championship match against the The Influence will happen later on in January.

We got back to the ring for another historical first time match. For the first time ever, the Ring of Honor World Championship will be defended in an Impact ring!! “The Octopus” Jonathan Gresham will defend against Chris Sabin, in a Pure Wrestling Rules match! This match started quick, with both guys trading counters. It was a lot of back and forth grappling. Gresham finally managed to take control with some fantastic technical wrestling and joint manipulation. He kept Sabin under control until Chris finally managed to counter him with a kick from the apron. Sabin got on his horse and stayed ahead of Gresham with a few counters before hitting a nasty Powerslam DDT. They traded strikes, then Sabin hit a draping spinning neckbreaker that caused Gresham to use his first rope break to avoid the pin. Gresham got back into it and hit a disgusting Dragonscrew in the corner. He then locked up Sabin and went HAM with elbows to the head, then a Crucifix, then a Crossface. Sabin was forced to burn his first rope break to avoid tapping. Gresham then locked him into a beautiful Octopus and rained down some powerful hammerfists. Somehow Sabin managed to counter him and hit an awesome Cradleshock, but it only got a 2 as Gresham was to close to the ropes and burned his second rope break. They traded strikes again, with Gresham holding on to Sabin’s wrist the entire time. They started with chops, then moved to open hand slaps, then graduated to kicks and inseguiris, then roll-up attempts. After countering each other multiple times, Gresham got the win with a gorgeous Mahistra pin with a bridge. Gresham retains the ROH Championship. 9.5/10 Now THAT WAS A WRESTLING MATCH!!!!! THAT’S HOW YOU WRESTLE!!!

Our next match is a revenge match, as Josh Alexander will finally get his hands on Jonah Rock after that vicious attack at Turning Point. Alexander opened the match with repeated, hard strikes, immediately taking it to Jonah. Unfortunately, he hurt himself hitting a dropkick when he landed on his damaged ribs. Jonah noticed and immediately went for a Senton, but Josh managed to dodge. Jonah got his leg caught in the ropes attacking Alexander and Josh pounced. But after a Cross Body, Jonah dropped Alexander ribs first on the apron. Then again on the turnbuckles. Jonah took over, focusing his attack on the clearly still injured ribs of Alexander. Josh managed to fight back into it. They traded some heavy strikes before Josh went after the compromised leg. He got Jonah against the ropes and hit clothesline after clothesline after clothesline before he finally managed to take Jonah over to the floor. Josh went after him and Jonah dragged him into the crowd, then sent him hard back over the rail. Josh Alexander ran into the ring, then dove off the top rope onto Jonah in the crowd! He rolled back in and waited, Jonah barely managed to get back in the ring at 9. Jonah recovered and caught Josh going to the top, and hit him with a devastating Superplex. Josh got back up and they exchanged strikes, then Jonah hit a nasty powerbomb and a beheader Clothesline. Then he hit two short, hard headbutts and a monstrous Brainbuster. Somehow, Alexander still kicked out. Josh found second life and went off, hitting a beautiful German and then somehow hitting a Powerbomb, then he locked in the Ankle Lock and trapped Jonah’s other leg. Jonah had no choice but to tap out! Alexander pulled out the win!!! 9/10, another hard hitting masterpiece by one of the best performers on the planet, Josh Alexander.

We have now reached what could be the most violent match of the night. On one side we have Heath, Rhyno, The Souljas, and Eddie Edwards. On the other we have the Good Brothers and Violent By Design. Its time for the 10 man Hardcore WAR!!!!! The match opened with Deaner and Rich Swann. Swann went off on Deaner, hitting strikes and quick attacks. He went hardcore early, nailing Deaner with a trashcan, but then got sent into his own wedged chair in the corner after Deaner dodged an attempt at the 450 with the can. Deaner then hit a vicious White Russian Leg Sweep with the VBD flag. Karl Anderson was the first person out, carrying a gold club, but Swann turned the tables and used the driver against him before nailing Deaner with a chair. Anderson turned things around very quickly when he nailed Swann with the tag title belt. Willie Mack came out next, wielding an axe handle. The Souljas went to work with a chair before hitting the Wazzup! on Deaner. Doc Gallows was out next and immediately wreaked absolute havoc, sending Swann through a door, using a golf club, then using pieces of the door on Swann. Eddie Edwards was the next person out, and of course he brought Kenny the Kendo Stick. He nailed Anderson on his way to the ring, then dropped LG before taking them both out with consecutive dives. Eric Young was out next, carrying two trashcan lids, and he immediately hit a bellclap with them on Eddie. LG obliterated Mack with a chair, then Swann too. Heath came out next, swinging a lead pipe. He hit everyone in sight, before they teamed up on Deaner. Somehow, Deaner managed to survive and dodged a trashcan moonsault attempt. Joe Doering was the last man out for his team. He carried nothing, the man IS a damn weapon. He dropped everyone in sight. Just complete carnage with his bare hands and feet. Eddie was bleeding at this point. Rhino is the last man into the match, carrying a chain. He wrapped it around his hand and dropped Doering, Gallows, and Deaner before he and Eric Young started to go at it. Heath was now bleeding. Gallows was also bleeding, opened up by the chain punch from Rhyno. All 10 guys got into the ring and came face to face. All hell broke loose. Young was now bleeding. Swann appeared to be bleeding too. Young and Eddie exchanged trashcan lid shots…big ones. Eddie won that battle and grabbed Kenny again, and proceeded to light up everyone with a pulse on the opposing team until Kenny shattered. He grabbed another Kenny from ringside and lit it on fire, nailing Gallows with it. Eric Young took Eddie to the apron and hit him with a nasty Piledriver through a ringside table. Swann flew in out of nowhere with a 450 on Eric Young immediately after. Mack went under the ring and produced a Barbed Wire board. Uh oh. It backfired. Doering dropped him, then yoked up Swann and put him through the board with a disgusting Death Valley Driver. Mack managed to drop Doering and Deaner with chain clotheslines. Karl Anderson appeared out of nowhere to hit the Gun Stun on Mack. Heath appeared with a Cowboys helmet and brained Anderson, setting up Rhyno to hit the GORE! Heath pinned Anderson and team Rhyno gets the win! And they pinned the champs!!! 8/10. After the match, PCO, Vincent, Matt Taven, and Mike Bennett came out of absolutely nowhere and jumped the winners, absolutely decimating everyone in the ring! Then they brought in Maria and they all celebrated! Holy shit, ROH’s OG Kingdom has invaded Impact! ROH has invaded! What does this mean!!!??

We’ve reached our co-main event of the evening. Its time for the Triple Threat Impact World Championship match. In one corner we have the man with no friends, the lone wolf W Morrissey. In the second corner we have the self-proclaimed King of the Deathmatch, Mr Always Ready himself, Matt Cardona. And in the third corner, we have the defending champion, the Wrestling God, Moose. Match started quickly with everyone throwing bombs right away. Moose and Morrissey wound up outside the ring, and Cardona hit a dive on both of them. Moose responded by throwing him into the barricade, then hit a Powerbomb into the apron. Morrissey then caught Moose and powerbombed HIM into the apron. Moose got back up and managed to take out both of them with his athleticism, then he got Morrissey up on the turnbuckles and hit him with the Go To Hell. Cardona caught Moose from behind and dropped him in the corner, then he hit 2 Reboots each on both of them. He tried to get Morrissey up for a superplex in the corner, but Moose reinserted himself and hit a Tower of Doom Powerbomb on both of them. Moose fought Cardona up the ramp but Chelsea Green saved him from yet another vicious chair attack with a dive off the stage. They made their way back to the ring and Morrissey hit them both with a dive. Cardona dropped Morrissey hard in the ring but Morrissey rolled out. Cardona and Moose exchanged in the ring. Moose got to the top athletically, but Cardona shoved him off and he went through the timekeeper’s table. Meanwhile, a fan threw a prosthetic leg into the ring. Morrissey (surprisingly) happily used it on Cardona. Cardona responded with a Radio Silence out of nowhere, but Morrissey kicked out. Morrissey responded with a nasty chokeslam, but Cardona kicked out. Cardona hit him with a Radio Silence off the top, but Moose pulled the ref before three. Cardona rolled up Moose, but Moose rolled through, then accidentally speared the ref. Cardona hit him with the Radio Silence, but Morrissey tossed him out and hit the BQE on Moose. There’s no ref. Morrissey piled up some chairs, but Moose hit him with a massive low blow before he could do anything with them. Moose then wore Morrissey out with one of the chairs. Cardona hit Moose with a chair of his own, but Moose responded with another nasty low blow. Chelsea saved Cardona from a chair shot. Moose swung and missed both of them, then he powerbombed Cardona into Green and the newly arrived second ref. Moose then nailed the Lights Out Spear and the original ref revived and made the three count. Moose retained but that was a helluva match. 8/10.

And now, we have reached the main event of the evening. Which is special, because its the Knockouts Championship Match. That’s right, the women are getting the top slot tonight, and they’re gonna do it in a Texas Deathmatch. Quick explanation of the rules. You have to get a pinfall or submission, and then an immediate ten count. If they get up you have to start over. In one corner you have the challenger, the former champion, one of the best female performers on the planet right now, The Virtuosa Deonna Purrazzo. In the other corner, the legend, the future Hall of Famer, the multi-time multi-company world champion, Hardcore Country Mickie James. Mickie James opened up the match with a very quick roll-up, but Deonna got up right away after. And she was pissed. They proceeded to trade strikes, then Deonna managed to hit a quick hot shot. She locked in the Venus De Milo and Mickie tapped quick but then got up at 3. They started throwing chairs in the ring from opposite sides. Purrazzo went for a table after they threw about 8 chairs. Mickie was the first to use one of the chairs. Then she found the golf club from Hardcore War under the ring and used it. Deonna tossed her into the ring post, then hit her with the golf club back. James responded by smashing her into the steps. Deonna then suplexed her hard on the stage. She disappeared backstage and reappeared with an equipment case which she rolled right through Mickie’s head as she tried to get up. She got a pin, but Mickie got up at 9, busted open from the case. Mickie got it back into the ring and removed her chaps she had been wearing up to this point. Things are getting serious. She dropped Deonna and locked in a single leg crab. Deonna escaped. James then dropkicked her off the apron, then dragged her back in the ring and hit her with multiple knees to the head with her knee brace. Deonna caught her setting up a table in the ring, then introduced the black bag of thumbtacks. She avoided a Mickie-T and hit a nasty pump kick that sent Mickie directly into the tacks. Then she hung Mickie from the ropes with her own discarded chaps. James tapped and fell to the floor, but managed to get back to her feet at 7. She went under the ring and pulled out a specially painted guitar, but Deonna hit her with a chair before she could use it. Mickie got the chair away from her and used it on her, then took Deonna off the top. Then she hit a Thesz Press off the top, taking Deonna off the apron to the floor. She got the pin, but Matthew Rehwoldt appeared and helped Deonna up at 8. James hit a cross body that took them both out. James put Deonna on the table but Deonna recovered and hit her with a Queens Gambit off the turnbuckles through the table. She got the pin, but Mickie got up at 9 3/4. Deonna tried to hit a low blow, but Mickie seemed to actually enjoy it. Rehwoldt had enough and turned to attack Mickie but she absolutely obliterated him with the guitar. Then she hit the Mickie-T on Deonna and got the pin, then stacked a chair and the broken table on top of her as insurance and got the 10 count. 8/10, Mickie retains….which means…holy shit, the reigning Knockouts Champion is going to compete in the WWE Women’s Royal Rumble!!!!! ANOTHER FIRST! This year is already insane!!!!

That was a helluva a show to kick off 2022. 9/10, every match brought the fire, great show, and I’m excited to see what’s to come for the rest of the year. This could be a big year for Impact Wrestling!!!!