That Wrestling Show

Our opening match of the evening is an X Division Fatal Fourway #1 contender match, with Chris Bey taking on Jake Something, Mike Bailey, and Ace Austin. Jake and Bey dropped Austin and Bailey to the outside and then squared off. Jake Something won the short battle, then Bailey reinserted himself and kicked the crap out of Jake. Then he dropped Ace and attempted to dive to the outside. Jake caught him and tossed him into everyone on the floor, then he himself hit a massive dive onto everyone. Ace then took out Jake, and he and Bey hit a bevvy of strikes on him. Bey then went into business for himself again, dropping Ace, Jake, and Bailey, before diving to the outside. He overshot a little bit but caught enough of Bailey to take him down. Bailey got back up in time to dodge a diving Ace Austin before hitting a Moonsault off the post to everyone on the outside. He threw a kick at Austin, but Jake caught him, and then Bey kicked him off of Jake into a Moonsault on Austin. Crazy sequence there. Bey followed that with a huge Poisoned Rana on Jake. He finished it off with a huge splash on Austin but Bailey broke up the pin with a gorgeous running Shooting Star Press. He hit a huge kick to Bey, only to eat a vicious Haymaker by Jake Something. Jake went for the Void, Ace stopped it. Bailey and Ace hit a double superkick on Jake, then Bey hit Bailey with the Art of Finesse. Ace broke up the pin. Ace managed to take out Bey, but when he went for the Fold on Jake, Jake blocked and turned it into The Void for the win! 8/10, what a helluva way to open the show. Jake will now face Trey for the X-Division Championship.

Back to the action, where Jonah is gonna face Black Taurus. The match started with an early stalemate, then massive chops by Black Taurus that backed Jonah into the corner. He tried to hit two massive shoulder blocks both failed to have any effect with either, then he got swatted out of the air by Jonah. He got right back up and managed to send Jonah into the corner, then hit a beautiful corkscrew plancha to the outside. Then he got up and hit another, but Jonah caught him before he could do any more damage and nailed him with 2 massive press slams. He locked in a reverse bear hug but Taurus managed to fight out. Jonah responded with a wicked elbow that completely rocked Taurus’s shit. Taurus recovered enough to hit a massive Crucifix Bomb. Taurus backed him into the corner and hit a nice combo, but Jonah responded with a huge splash. Taurus countered with a wicked headbutt, then hit a crazy Tiger Fade Kick. He followed that with a beautiful corkscrew senton. Somehow Jonah kicked out. He went back to the top but Jonah caught him with a huge press slam off the top, then hit a Thesz Press (that’s just not fair), then a powerbomb, a clothesline, and finally the Tsunami for the win. 8/10, that was a great hoss fight and a crazy combo at the end there by Jonah. Nice to see Jonah get challenged.

Our next match is the second of three matches for Bullet Club on the night. Hopefully for them Switchblade Jay White will fare better than Chris Bey and be able to pull off the win over Eric Young. The match started with a lot of trash talk on both sides, then dueling shoulder tackles, then dueling corner chops. White used his speed to get control. The match spilled to the outside, where Jay maintained his control with some well placed attacks. Eric managed to power his way back in, they got back in the ring, and White hit a Final Cut for a 2 count. He went for the Blade Runner but Young blocked, so Jay went to the striking game. Young countered with a short DDT. EY took over with the power game, but White blocked the attempt at the Piledriver. They hit a stalemate and reloaded. They traded big chops, EY got the best of it. They traded strikes, EY got the best of it again. EY tried to go airborne but it was blocked, so EY bit White, who dropped to the mat and Young hit the Flying Elbow for a surprise 2 count. King Switch countered with a huge Urinagi and a two count of his own. He stayed on him with a quick Saito Suplex. EY rolled to the apron, White followed and hit a nasty flatliner on the apron. EY blocked the next maneuver with a eye gouges, then hit an even nastier Piledriver on the apron. They traded pin attempts. EY blocked another attempt at the Blade Runner, White countered by blocking the Piledriver, then hit a wicked snap Half-N-Half suplex and followed it up with the Bladerunner for the win. 8/10, we’re 3 for 3 with great matches to start the ppv, and I wanna see these two run it back because that was awesome.

Its now time for the Champ Champ challenge as Deonna Purrazzo puts one of her titles on the line against whoever responds. Out come Miranda Alize. Ok, this should be interesting. Alize chose the ROH Women’s Championship, and we were off and running. Alize started the match quick, going for the Miranda Rights almost immediately. She used her quickness and athleticism to keep Deonna off balance early in the match. Deonna grounded her ass finally with a massive pump kick. She started to work on her with the power game, tossing her around the ring. Alize managed to counter out with some nice strikes before they exchanged some quick bombs. Alize managed to drop Deonna with a big shot, but Deonna responded by going back to the power game. Alize managed to stay alive with her quickness and nailed the Miranda Rights, but Deonna countered the pin attempt. Alize went for the Shining Wizard but Deonna ducked it and locked in the Fujiwara Arm Bar. Alize tapped, Deonna is still the Champ Champ. 7.5/10, short but great match. Deonna Purrazzo is too damn good.

The next match is the rematch for the Digital Media Championship, with Matt Cardona defending against the former champ, the woman he went dirty to beat, Jordynne Grace. Grace started hot, still pissed about how the last match went down, nailing Cardona with some hard strikes, then a sleeper. She followed that up with one of the most impressive deadlift suplexes I’ve ever seen, lifting Cardona from his damn knees. Matt wasn’t having it and attempted to bail on the match, but Grace caught him on the ramp and forced him back to the ring. Grace went for an attack and Cardona took the low road, using Brian Hebner as a shield. He took control, using his slight power advantage. He suplexed her into the corner, on purpose this time around. Grace managed to fight back into it and used her combined power and speed to drop Cardona repeatedly. Cardona took to the air and hit a huge dropkick, then hit multiple Reboots in the corner with a little extra oomph. He went for the Radio Silence but Jordynne actually managed to block it. She nailed a vicious combo of strikes in the corner. Cardona rolled to the outside, and tried to block a dive attempt with a chair. She stopped short and kicked it into his face. Cardona tried to use the chair again and Grace snapped and instinctively kicked him right in the yambag. Ref had no choice but to disqualify Grace, Cardona wins and retains. 7/10, honestly, if that’s the worst match on the show this is gonna be a fantastic night because that was actually a pretty damn good match despite the ending.

Apparently, somebody (not Jake Somebody) took out Eddie Edwards backstage and it does not look like he’ll be able to compete tonight. Team Impact is down a man again. Not a good start.

We go back to the ring where the Impact Tag Team Championships are on the line as Guerillas of Destiny will finally get a shot at the Good Brothers. The match started fast and furious, with Tama Tonga taking it to Karl Anderson with strong, quick strikes. G.O.D. took it to the floor and hit a 2-on-1 on Anderson, then the big LG got involved and everything quickly broke down, with Tonga Loa and LG going at in on the floor while Karl and Tama took it back into the ring. Loa tagged in and they hit another huge double team on Karl. Karl finally managed to counter out with an eye rake, and tagged in Gallows. We have a hoss fight, as Loa and LG exchange strikes, then when Loa gets the advantage, LG rakes his eyes. He managed to tag in Tama, who LG quickly overpowered. Gallows started a huge beatdown and wore down Tama. Tama countered out, Karl tagged in, Tama overpowered him and tagged in Loa. Loa took it to both of them, overpowered Karl, tagged in Tama, and they hit the double team for the pin, but LG made the save. Karl countered out and tagged in Gallows, and they hit a double team of their own, with Tama making the save. They went for the Magic Killer but it was blocked, then chaos erupted as everyone got in a bomb of their own until all four men were down. Karl and Tama recovered, and Tama won out with the power and a huge splash, but only got a 2 count. Guerrillas went for the Magic Killer but Gallows blocked it. Chris Bey came out at this point. Tonga Loa confronted him, only to suffer a huge chokeslam on the floor by Gallows. Bey looks confused. The ref was distracted by the action on the floor, and at that point Jay White slid into the ring and attacked….Tama Tonga?! He nailed him with the Blade Runner, leaving him for the Magic Killer and the 1,2,3. 8/10, great fuckin match, but what did we just witness??? White turned on G.O.D.? To confirm what just happened, White, Bey, and Good Brothers stood over the fallen Tama and did the Too Sweet. Did the Guerrillas just get booted from Bullet Club in an Impact ring?

We continue the action with the Impact Knockouts Championship match. In one corner, we have the challenger, the Boricua Badass herself, Tasha Steelz. In the other, we have the champion, Hardcore Country, the living legend, Mickie James. The match starts with a stalemate, both Knockouts hitting some strikes and attempting some holds before Mickie nails a splits kick on the ground. Tasha responded with some chops, then dropkicked her off the apron. She followed that up with a nice dropkick, then for some reason decided to trash talk Nick Aldis in the camera. Mickie took advantage of the self-distraction by Steelz and the rage burst and hit a neckbreaker. She rolled Tasha in, but Evans dropped her from behind while the ref had his back turned. Tasha aggressively took control with some nasty strikes and holds. Mickie used her agility to get back in it, but Tasha countered with a pinpoint kick. James went a little dirty and bit her on the face then hit some aggressive strikes. She went dirty again with the infamous and rarely used Cunt Kick. She followed that up with the seated senton off the top. Evans hopped up on the apron and Mickie nailed her with the Mick Kick. Tasha took advantage of that to hit a perfect Boricua Cutter. Chelsea Green arrived and dropped Evans on the floor. Mickie took advantage of the distraction and sent Steelz into Green on the apron and rolled her up for the win. 7.5/10, great match with an awkward and unnecessary ending. Steelz proved once again that she can go and is leagues beyond her age and experience.

Team Impact worked quickly and found their replacement for Eddie Edwards, who was officially not medically cleared to compete. Enter Willie Mack.

We’ve reached our co-main event of the evening, the Impact World Championship between two very heavy hitters. In one corner, we have the man who walks alone and trusts no one, the behemoth, W Morrissey. In the other corner, we have the Wrestling God, the greatest Impact Champion who has ever lived, the 5 tooled athlete himself, Moose. The match started exactly how you’d expect, with these two monsters exchanging massive haymakers, then Clotheslines. Moose hit two Lights Out Spears in quick succession and it looked like it was already over but Morrissey rolled out of the ring. Moose went for another spear on the floor but Morrissey jumped over him then hit him with a huge boot. They got back in the ring and Morrissey hit a BQE but Moose rolled out to the floor. Morrissey followed him out and the fight was on. Morrissey used the barricade. Moose used a Urinagi through a table. Morrissey was then sent hard into the post but responded with another huge kick, then hit a nasty BQE onto the apron. They got back in the ring and he went for another BQE but Moose countered with one of the biggest headscissors I’ve ever seen, then a dropkick. They got into a chop battle in the corner. How the hell are these two still standing? They threw some huge bombs at each other, before Moose managed to avoid another BQE and hit his third Lights Out Spear of the match, but Morrissey’s arm was under the ropes. They go at it again, Morrissey hits the BQE, but Moose’s FOOT was under the ropes. They fight to the corner, Moose hits a massive Superplex, then hits his 4th Lights Out Spear of the match for the win. Moose retains the the World championship. 8/10, that was actually a damn good fight between two very big, very athletic wrestlers. I wish more big man matches went like Impact does them.

Its time for our Main Event. This match has huge implications for the very future of both ROH and Impact Wrestling. In one corner we have the defectors, the chaos, Honor No More, with Vincent, The Kingdom, Kenny King, and PCO fighting to become a part of the Impact roster. In the other corner we have Team Impact, with Sabin, Rhino, Maclin, and the Souljas fighting for the honor of Impact Wrestling to put an end to the shenanigans of Honor No More once and for all. Match opened with an all out brawl leading to Maclin and Bennett starting the match exchanging strikes. Maclin gained the advantage, and Sabin and Taven both tagged in. Sabin took over with his ridiculous speed, then tagged in Swann. Taven hit a quick kick and tagged out to Vincent. Swann countered Vincent’s aggressiveness with agility and speed, forcing Vincent to retreat and tag in PCO. PCO immediately went with the power game and took out the knee of Swann. Rhino tagged himself in and the two monsters went at it, exchanging absolutely disgusting chops, then wicked clotheslines. PCO tried to take the low road by biting Rhino’s face. Rhino responded with a massive clothesline and tagged in Willie Mack, and PCO immediately dropped Mack with a massive clothesline of his own. Kenny King tagged in and went with his athleticism, but Mack responded by showing off his freakish speed and power mix. Dudes built like him shouldn’t move like him. Mack backed King into the corner and they started a quick tag beatdown train on King. Maclin finally tagged in and absolutely tossed King, then tagged in Sabin and they hit a beautiful double team move. That was surprising. King rolled to the floor, and Maria shielded him from further damage, allowing Bennett to hit a Death Valley Driver and then Taven to nail Sabin with the Just the Tip. I hate the name of Taven’s moves, lemme just throw that out there. Sabin actually managed to fight off both members of the OGK and tag in Rich Swann. Swann hit nasty kicks on everybody in sight, then used OGK against each other. Swann tried to go airborne but got caught by the Kingdom and Honor No More held him for the quintuple team stomp by Vincent on the floor. King tagged in and isolated Swann with some quick strikes and slams. Mike Bennett tagged in and dropped everyone off the apron, keeping Swann isolated to take more damage. Taven tagged in and OGK hit the double team. Vincent tagged in and used a series of power moves to keep Swann isolated and grounded. PCO tagged in and went vicious, using his freakish power and violence. PCO went for a dive and hit nothing but floor headfirst when Swann managed to dodge. Mack finally tagged in and went nuts, dropping everyone that moved, taking out the Kingdom, then PCO, before he and Swann hit a nice double team on Bennett. Taven managed to drop him from behind and the Kingdom hit the Proton Pack. Somehow Mack survived and tagged in Maclin as Vincent tagged in. Maclin took him to the cleaners, strung him up, and hit the Crosshairs. PCO tagged himself in and he and Taven hit a double team chokeslam on Maclin. King got in the ring and he and Vincent double teamed Swann. Chaos is starting to break out here. King sent Maclin into the ref, then dropped him. We have no ref, all hell is breaking loose. Sabin dives onto King. Taven dives onto both of them. Swann dives onto them. Mack punts Taven from the apron. Bennett Spears Mack on the apron. PCO hits the Deanimator onto both Souljas on the apron. Vincent follows that with the Redrum, still on the apron. We have officially reached chaos supreme. PCO hits the PCOSault to everyone on the floor. Rhino took on both members of the OGK by himself simultaneously. Out of nowhere Eddie runs out of the back with Kenny in hand. He chases off OGK then tells Rhino to Gore Maria. Rhino goes for it and Eddie absolutely brains Rhino with Kenny. Swann up on the apron asking what the hell and Eddie obliterates him with Kenny, then absolutely destroys all other members of Team Impact until Kenny splinters. They roll in the ref and Kenny King gets the pin. Holy shit! Honor No More Wins! Eddie Edwards is a dirty damn rat!!! Why Eddie Why??? 8.5/10, that was an awesome, chaotic, clusterfuck of a beautiful disaster of a match. After the match, Eddie ripped the Impact patch off his vest. Damn you EDDIE!!!!!

That was a helluva a show. And that swerve was absolutely perfectly done. The entire landscape of Impact has changed, and that might have been one of the best ppvs of the year so far in wrestling period. 9/10, excellent show. What’s gonna happen next??????